


In Morning

by trufflemores



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Dante's death prominent, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, post-flashpoint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufflemores/pseuds/trufflemores
Summary: Cisco reflects on Dante's death, in haikus.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note that the title is not a typo: it's just a play on words. Enjoy!

"Can I come with you?"

Cisco pauses at the door—

Says, "If you want to."

 

They walk in silence

As the wind chill sinks to ten.

Cisco leads the way.

 

Barry trails until

The slightest shiver draws the

Coat from his shoulders.

 

"Take it," he insists,

"I don't need it anymore."

He isn't lying.

 

After the lightning

Barry became a hero.

Cisco – something else.

 

The algorithm

Steals his sleep, insisting that

Bad days are ahead.

 

(Preponderance: noun

The quality of being

Greater in number

 

Like flies on a run.

Caitlin says, "Correlation"

Cisco: "More factors."

 

There are too many

Ways it can go wrong; as if

He's destined for it.

 

He'd voice his fears, but

In the silence he worries

Someday they'll come true.)

 

. o .

 

The meeting is long.

It must get on Barry's nerves.

Sitting for so long.

 

They ask Cisco if

He wants to speak on Dante's

Behalf—he declines.

 

What else can he say?

_I miss him more than my life_

_Morning, day, and night._

 

_I never told him_

_How much I admired his_

_Strength and will to live._

 

_I resented him_

_I despised him at times. Yet—_

_We were brothers, too._

 

_Loneliness eats me_

_Alive, like I am a shell_

_Of who I once was._

 

_I can remember_

_His favorite color, his_

_Favorite season_

 

_The sound of his laugh,_

_The way he made Mama smile,_

_Papa's robust praise._

 

" _Dante!" they'd exclaim_

" _Beautiful boy! Cherished one!_

" _Our first and foremost."_

 

_He did everything_

_Played the piano, loved songs_

_Moved the world to tears._

 

_Oxymoron: a_

_Contradiction of being._

" _Dante died last night."_

 

_My heart stopped; my blood_

_Would not carry a pulse; my_

_Breath stuck in my chest._

 

_I waited five hours_

_For him to come home, texting_

" _¿Por dónde andas?"_

 

_What happens when your_

_Brother dies? Are you still your_

_Parents' youngest son?_

 

_He was there every_

_Day of my life; I wanted_

_To be there for his._

 

_It should've lasted._

_No one should have to die at_

_Thirty-three years old._

 

_He had a good life._

_The past tense is worse each time._

_He was a good man._

 

They ask again: "Speak

On behalf of your brother

If it pleases you."

 

Nothing ever could.

But for them, he tries. For them

He says, "I miss him.

 

"I miss him like you

Would miss your own name, were it

Taken from your soul.

 

"I miss him like you

Would miss your shadow, surplus

Until you need it.

 

"I miss him like you

Would miss your favorite song;

Your favorite book.

 

"We were meant to be

Together for the rest of

Our lives. I want more.

 

"I want one more day

Another hour with him.

One more second, please.

 

"I don't know what I

Would trade for just one minute

Everything is fair.

 

"I miss him," Cisco

Laments, covering his eyes.

"I miss him so much."

 

Barry puts a hand

On Cisco's shoulder; leaves it

There as Cisco weeps.

 

At last they leave with

A prayer for the deceased:  _May_

_Their souls rest in peace._

 

. o .

 

It would be faster

To run home; warmer; simpler.

Nothing is simple.

 

Barry's coat is just

Enough to fend off the wind.

It's what Cisco needs.

 

There is a weight to

Barry's presence that allows

Cisco to endure.

 

It is _I am here_.

It is _I am here for you._

It is _I'm sorry_.

 

. o .

 

Home is familiar

Paired with unfamiliar things

Like Barry's Flash boots

 

In the entryway;

Barry's imprint all over

The coffee table.

 

Even the couch bears

Barry's scent; the kitchen is

A mixture of them.

 

Pancakes Cisco loves;

Enough bacon to feed a

Small revolution.

 

Fridge fuller than a

Frat house on homecoming night

Stacked sky high with eggs.

 

Cupboards full: cornflakes

Cinnamon, sugar; berries,

Apricots, Poptarts.

 

A half-finished list

Grows daily by the dozen

Thank God for coupons.

 

(Cisco's pockets are

Only so deep: free food is

Their bread and butter.

 

Restaurants love to

Serve _The Flash_ ; _The Flash_ eats free

Monday to Sunday.)

 

Those coffee cup stains

That drive Caitlin bananas

Don't bother Barry.

 

Few things do: lightning

Is Barry's compass. Lightning

Doesn't mind chaos.

 

Chaos is lived-in

Chaos is how Cisco feels

"You don't smile a lot."

 

Barry's coat ends on

The floor; Barry's boots -- the door.

Barry doesn't mind.

 

Barry gives him space

Wandering upstairs; Cisco

Finally exhales.

 

It's exhausting to

Come home from a meeting and

Know he has to live.

 

He can't change his life

With a snap of his fingers.

He has to live it.

 

He can't save Dante.

He can't save Dante. He can't—

It eats him alive.

 

He follows Barry

Upstairs, taking refuge in

Unoccupied space.

 

Barry's room is a

Clusterfuck of unpacked things,

Living in limbo.

 

Transcient, it warns:

_Don't get attached; I won't be_

_Staying much longer_.

 

Cisco wants to say

_Mi casa es tu casa._

He keeps his silence.

 

Cisco picks up an

Old picture on the nightstand

Team Flash is all smiles.

 

It makes something deep

In his soul ache for a time

Before time travel.

 

The first rule of time

Travel is _Be careful: you_

_Only get one shot._

 

Cisco looks around

And sees a life built upon

Temporal debris.

 

(Loneliness: noun, the

Feeling of being alone,

Apart from the world.

 

How many timelines

Separate their origins

Twenty? Ten-thousand?)

 

Barry walks into

The room, looking exactly

Like Cisco expects.

 

He's tall, lean and full

Of hidden strength; a force of

Nature on his own.

 

Golden eyes, golden

Heart. Easy gait, easy gaze.

Cisco's heart beats fast.

 

(He dreams about it:

How a speedster killed him in

Another lifetime.

 

He thinks _Barry would_

 _Never hurt me._ Tell that to

The day- and nightmares.)

 

Barry's posture is

Subdued, slouched shoulders, bent head:

All, _I come in peace._

 

Cisco thinks _I'm in_

 _Your space_. But it's all his home.

Barry's presence stains.

 

Their life is a war

Of conflicting interests

Come here, but don't stay.

 

Cisco thinks about

What forgiveness would feel like

How much it would hurt.

 

He asks Dante's ghost

To guide him, to give him strength,

To give him the words.

 

"I'm sorry," Barry

Says. "I'm so sorry." Cisco

Wants to believe it.

 

"Change it," he commands,

"If you're so sorry." A stab

Would hurt less than this.

 

Barry backs down and

Cisco can almost see him

Accept the wrong choice.

 

Then he says, "Okay"

And a thrill of fear and joy

Sweeps over Cisco.

 

Barry straightens, a

Hint of steel amid all that

Gold. He asks, "You sure?"

 

 _Never more_ , Cisco

Thinks, heart in his throat because

Barry takes his hand.

 

Barry says, "Trust me."

Cisco wants to respond, "How?"

He closes his eyes.

 

The world does not break

It disappears. Barry's hand

Is Cisco's anchor.

 

He knows the feel of

Speed Force, even if there is

Nothing to ground him.

 

Then he hears a voice

From the darkness, a laugh he

Knows, pain in his chest.

 

" _Hermano!_ " Dante

Rejoices. "Hermano! It's

You! Paco! Paco!"

 

The bear hug is tight

Cisco wants to cry. Barry

Keeps a hand on him.

 

 _Don't go far_ , he says

Without saying anything

_Or you will fall down._

 

Cisco wants to ask

"Where to?" But he is sobbing

Into Dante's chest.

 

"I missed you," he says

"I missed you, I missed you, I –"

Dante holds him tight.

 

The hand on his back

Is a constant reminder

That this is a dream.

 

A slow waking dream,

The good kind, the one where he

Doesn't want to leave.

 

For a century

They hold on to each other

Like a dying wish.

 

Cisco cannot speak.

He waited forever for

This moment to come.

 

Reunion: noun; brought

Together by chance, purpose,

Simple good fortune.

 

Barry speaks to Flash

Apologizing, thanking

Promising penance.

 

To Cisco, it's not

A concern. Prometheus

Has a stronger back.

 

He holds onto his

Brother for as long as the

Universe allows.

 

It is more patient

Than Cisco expects, more kind

Than he can endure.

 

Dante just hugs him

A golden glow Cisco knows

Mantles his shoulders.

 

"I'm okay," he says,

"I'm okay." Cisco holds on

Memorizing him.

 

When at last his breath

Returns, he pulls back and says,

"I love you so much."

 

"I never told you

How much you mattered to me.

Then it was too late.

 

"I was young, and I

Rejected the chance to be

Your brother, proper.

 

"The night you died—" He

Shudders, momentarily

Stilled. "I thought I had."

 

"I got the phone call

Just after midnight. There was

A bad accident."

 

"You didn't make it."

Dante holds him at arm's length.

Barry holds him back.

 

"They pronounced you dead

At the scene. They told me it

That it was painless."

 

"Was it?" Cisco asks,

The lump in his throat trying

To suffocate him.

 

Dante pulls him close.

"Hermano," he says, "my death

Does not change me now."

 

"I am well," Dante

Declares, speaking on behalf

Of himself at last.

 

Cisco nods, rushing

Nothing, letting himself be

Happy for a change.

 

It is joyful here.

Addictively safe, at peace.

Dante belongs here.

 

"May the Speed Force be

With you," Cisco says, from half

A lifetime ago.

 

Dante ruffs his hair

Affectionate disrepair.

"Be well," he counsels.

 

The Ghost steps forward

And Dante partially turns.

"Will you be okay?"

 

Cisco can see the

Way they collaborate, like

Family across worlds.

 

Does Flash get lonely?

Cisco doesn't know. But he

Knows that it's farewell.

 

Barry's hand never

Leaves his back, a reminder.

_You have to come home._

 

There is so much that

Cisco wants to ask. But he

Refrains. It can wait.

 

Speed Force is always.

As long as Barry is there

Then he can come back.

 

Knowing that it's not

The end makes it possible

To nod and let go.

 

. o .

 

Turquoise stars blink as

They settle down in the grass.

Cisco breathes deeply.

 

Barry lets go and

Cisco turns to face him. There

Are tears on his face.

 

"I can't change it," he

Says. "I'm sorry. I'm so sor—"

Cisco kisses him.

 

Barry freezes. Then

He melts into it, cupping

Cisco's face, relieved.

 

It's Speed Force, Cisco

Justifies. It's the lightning.

It's being alive.

 

It's something about

_The universe wants us to_

_Be bros_. It's Dante.

 

It's achingly sweet.

It's exactly what he needs.

It's Barry. It's _Flash_.

 

Barry took something

Irreplaceable from him

Then he gave it back.

 

It'll hurt when the

Euphoria wears off and

The morning sun comes.

 

But Cisco missed this,

His best friend, his above all.

He missed being loved.


End file.
